Mallu Essentials & My First Love

All about my first love.  If you are a mallu (a malayalee), you need to have these qualities in you

1. Drink like a fish
2. Have a paunch
3. Work in Gelf (Gulf, middle east to be precise)

These precious words of wisdom were spouted by a colleague of mine when i first came to Singapore. He himself is a mallu. We had gone for our for dinner and seeing me refuse a drink, he commented. I dont drink. In fact the only alcoholic drink (if you agree it is one) is maybe a mug of beer. I would really struggle to finish it too. They say, peer pressure is what makes you get into all vices. I say, its all bull crap. Almost all my friends drink like a fish and smoke like a chimney. But, I dont.

Its not that i never indulged in all these pleasures. I started smoking when i was 14 or 15. And i quit about 5 years later when someone very special (my first love) told me that she didnt like to see me smoke. That special someone was my lecturer in my computer’s class. I was head over heels in love with her. Cant blame it. I was just 21 then. She must have been at least 4-5 years elder to me and was my first love.

my first love

She must have been more concerned about the sacred ‘teacher-student’ relationship. As for me, i was a rebel on the loose wanting to make a statement. I was just an average student and spent time day dreaming. Dunno why, she took special interest in me. And if i didnt take the necessary interest in class, she would be really mad at me. A few exchanges between us went something like this…

Her – Philip, if you don’t pay attention in class, i will kill you.
Me – (all misty eyed with a hand on my heart), Oh…you have already killed me
Her – Sigh, you will never change
Me – Honestly, i don’t want to. I love it this way.

She might have been really concerned about my future. But, i took her concern as genuine love for me. I dreamt of marrying her someday. Ya, ya, ya i was only 21 then and she was very much elder to me. But strangely, i have always had some sort of soft corner for older women (will write more about my relation with a much older divorcee in another post). She just went ahead with her life and got married. I was hurt and broken hearted. I couldnt believe that someone could do this to me. She just laughed whenever i told her that i liked her a lot. Maybe she took my liking for her as crush or infatuation of a boy in his youth.

And then, she just disappeared from my life. 2 years on, when i met her again at a shopping complex, she was carrying lots of shopping bags. I was as usual ‘bird watching’. She came up, and said “Philip, you haven’t changed a bit…still ogling at the girls?” and laughed out heartily.

The woman i loved so much was now standing in front of me with a heavily pregnant tummy. I just mumbled something. That was the last time i saw her. I hope never to bump into her again. She was my first love.

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  • lazybug

    I agree with you about the peer-pressure thing. I have been in the company of the Fish and Chimneys for a long time but never felt the urge to smoke or drink.

    And as for the heart-breaking one-sided love affair, well, life goes on. 🙂

  • Donna

    That’s really sweet…you being in love with your teacher…she was probably just intimidated by your attentions…teachers really aren’t supposed to have relationships with their students are they? Do you really think you were in love with her…?…Not just…physical attraction? I have a hard time believing any guy is capable of true…selfless love… 😀 but that’s my problem. Anyway…I’m sure she didn’t mean to hurt you so much…she probably was fully aware of how you felt, but didn’t know how to handle the problem…I know what you mean about seeing her again…pregnant…must have put quite a damper on your day…it hurts to see someone you care about…someone you probably gave a piece of your heart to…belonging to someone else. It’s like losing a part of yourself…

  • Melissa

    Awww…that is indeed very sad but sweet …its sad she dint realise your true love for her…maybe she must be used students having infatuation for her…btw, did u find ur soulmate yet?

  • mani

    hi my name nima from irna
    i vent ?? ???? ???? ?????? ????? ?? ?? ?? ??? ?? ?? ????? ?? ???? ?? ??? ?? ?? ????? ??? ???? ????? ???? ?? ???? ????? ?? ??? ????? ?? ?? ??? ?? ???? ???? ?? ?? ??? ?? ????? ?? ???? ?? ?????? ??? ????? ?? ??? ???? ??? ????? ?? ??? ???? ???? ?? ? ??????? ??? ??? ?? ???? ?? ?? ?? ???? ??? ??? ?? ????? ?? ?????

  • Teresa

    Such a beautiful picture shown here!C:UsersKarlPictures2004_09_Surreal01_0370.jpg

    Can I make it into an Iconator icon, it will not cost you anything?

    thanks so much.

  • Liju Philip

    @Mani, thanks for dropping by. Sorry, i cant read your language. But your blog is very beautiful.

    @Aditya, thanks for dropping by.

    @Teresa & Julie, i found the picture on the net. Am not sure of the source.

  • Georgie

    Aww – your story is so sweet, especially the convo you and her had – it just made me go AWWW! well everyone gets crushes on teachers don’t they – but it was pretty harsh meeting her in the supermarket pregnant 🙁 but life goes on… you will meet someone perfect for you in the future – honest 🙂 luvving the picture – cute 🙂

  • sahel

    ??????? ???? ??? ???? ? ?? ??????
    ??? ???? ????? ??? ??? ??????

    ??????? ??? ????? ??? ?? ??????
    ???? ?? ????? ?? ?? ?? ????? ?????

  • Amit

    Peer pressure worked on me. I do come under the pressure at times but always make it a point to stop when I feel that I am loosing my senses. Then the rest of the drink goes in the drain. 🙂
    And, that love story with the sad ending was very cute. 🙂

  • sammerrin

    That’s a very sweet story.

    I was wondering… Since you’ve been on the other side of a student-teacher relationship, I was hoping you could help me out. I believe one of my high school students has developed a crush on me (either that or my class is doing a very elaborate April Fools joke), and I was wondering how I could let him down easy while still leaving him no hope of a future relationship. Any suggestions would be much appreciated. Thanks.

    -Sam

  • Liju Philip

    @Sam, wait to see if its not a april fools joke. If he is quite serious, then the only way out is to talk to him. If he doesnt listen or understand, just play along for a while. Or even better, just ignore him. Its just a passing fad for teenagers.

    Soon he will move on to other things. Cheers.

  • shiva

    hi Lija,i’m shiva…i from Iran
    and I very happy because i found your website and it’s very Romantic(I love your site)

  • B

    Very cute anecdote abt ur love life
    Though I feel that most guys and gals were in some way in love with their good looking teachers..aww…youth

  • Harys

    My first love…
    now u know what I fell.
    You know? I don’t care about them!
    I will always love you, nek
    forever…..